God is Love

God is patient, God is kind.

He does not envy, He does not boast,

He is not easily angered,

He keeps no record of wrongs.

God does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

He always protects, always trust,

always hopes, always perseveres.

God never fails.

*******

From middle May till end of June,

I was not doing my quiet time.

I completely shut down myself from God.

The feeling was terrible.

I was like driving a car without a map,

without any direction.

And yet I was trying every exit I could find,

with little strength that I left with,

I went round and round the road.

I was lost.

Completely.

My friend prepared me a set of test tubes for an experiment.

I asked God, “What have I done to deserve this?”

As I reflect back, it was just like my relationship with God.

I thought I should handle things myself.

But it was wrong.

I pray for blessings and anointing,

But I turned out using my own strength rather than God’s.

Horrible.

Imagine if I turn down the offer from my friend

and carry on with my own work.

I broke that relationship.

In the same way,

I break down my relationship with God.

I am truly sorry Lord.

God is reminding me of a relationship that He longs for.

A great time with His daughter,

I lost it 2 years back,

Too busy to lift up myself rather His Kingdom.

I am truly sorry Father.

He is giving me a second chance,

to come back to Him,

under His care and His Holy Presence.

Nothing compares to have a relationship with Father in Heaven.

He is asking me,

“Are you able to give up worldly expectation of you and take Mine?”

How would I possibly say No.

“Leave out all the negative thoughts that haunt you.”

This I never realize.

I thought I was doing great.

But God is faithful and patient enough.

Thank You Father.

You never leave me,

never forsake me.

Your unconditional love,

cleanses me.

I find acceptance in You,

not from the world,

not from people.

But solely in You, Lord.

I exalt You Father.

Amen.

Time: 10:47pm

Date: 7 July 2010

p/s: I wrote this last year, thought of sharing this with all of you~:)