The Real You

Long time no see yooo!!~lol..Please say you miss me..:p

I am good, spending my last three months here in uk and all I can say is TIME FLIES.

What I’ve been doing since my last blog??

Yeah..here you go!~

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Never in my life I can actually sit down and study for hours, for both lecturers’ note and books. Did I mention BOOKS?? Because I realized that lecturers’ note was not enough to cover the details of what could possibly turn out in exam. It was just a few days before exam. I had the worst burning mid night oil revision ever.  Basically I’d cried badly the day before each paper; that’s how I release tension. I prayed hard, before and after each paper, before revision and before I go to bed. And I promised to write about this if I pass all the subjects. And yes, I did pass all the subjects.

But what I really want to share is, do I pray as hard after that?? The answer is…NOT REALLY.

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It seems like wherever I stay, there will be a noisy neighbour. Be it loud music or partying, those were the very LAST thing I would like to deal with after a long tiring day. It did not turn out the way I wanted even though I tried to communicate politely. But, I’ll still fight for it for the sake of my “little peaceful moment”.Hm.. .What did I do to get that? LOL~ By banging the door, shouting out loud, throwing stuff against the wall. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So, can you imagine I have to bang the door everyday?? You’ll just laugh off nicely…But to be honest, I don’t bang it everyday, just occasionally.

Next, what if I meet my neighbour face to face? It depends, if I am in the good mood, I’ll be nice, otherwise (or the music is too loud), I’ll just walk pass them. Mind you, they have no obligations to take care of me, neither do they have the responsibility on my happiness or well-being. In other words, I can freely express my concern but they can choose not to listen. This is one thing I learn from them.

Now I have two choices; complain or deal with it. That’s the hardest thing for me. It’s just a repeating cycle; I get so angry at first, complain later, feeling nothing after that. I have no strength to pray for more patience and love, sadly. I just complain, releasing my anger to God…Only God knows.

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I am currently working on my thesis. This is the first time I am designing my own experiment and testing it as to whether it answers my questions. Going into laboratory without knowing whether or not my experiment is going to work out, that’s adventurous and boring at the same time, because I am so used to “Prepared Model Answers”. I am a bit lost at first, I don’t know where am I heading to, what if I couldn’t get it? What is the right way? What am I doing? How I hope there’ll be one book that telling me the right way to do it and the model answers to all my questions.

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Well, to be exact, I want God to fix all my problems while I can carry on with my way of enjoying life. I fast-forward the worst part and go on with the good part, putting Him away when I am in good shape. This is the real side of me. And, I don’t embrace all these, so don’t copy me please (especially the banging door part!). This is the part where God has to deal with me, in order to change my way of thinking and living. I need to hand over myself to Him, good or bad, He is in control. I can be a good Christian, but not a good disciple. Last week during church service, a sister shared about discipleship, now that hits me a lot because I don’t have what she said as a disciple of God. I am just plainly an easy, convenient Christian.

But God is yet to give up on me, this sister is sending His message to me,

“Then he said to them all, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  - Luke 9:23

It can be your addictions, bad habits, money…anything that draws you away from Him, He is there helping you to overcome these obstacles. . He is interested in bringing you back into His arms and He is there to put away any stumbling blocks that draw you away from Him.

“…because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” – Romans 5:3-5

The power of weakness is the strongest if you allow God to work on them, because He can turn bad into good, impossible to possible.  

Are you ready to give God the real you today? 

- To be continued - 

By,

Word n Music