The Real You

Long time no see yooo!!~lol..Please say you miss me..:p

I am good, spending my last three months here in uk and all I can say is TIME FLIES.

What I’ve been doing since my last blog??

Yeah..here you go!~

***

Never in my life I can actually sit down and study for hours, for both lecturers’ note and books. Did I mention BOOKS?? Because I realized that lecturers’ note was not enough to cover the details of what could possibly turn out in exam. It was just a few days before exam. I had the worst burning mid night oil revision ever.  Basically I’d cried badly the day before each paper; that’s how I release tension. I prayed hard, before and after each paper, before revision and before I go to bed. And I promised to write about this if I pass all the subjects. And yes, I did pass all the subjects.

But what I really want to share is, do I pray as hard after that?? The answer is…NOT REALLY.

***

It seems like wherever I stay, there will be a noisy neighbour. Be it loud music or partying, those were the very LAST thing I would like to deal with after a long tiring day. It did not turn out the way I wanted even though I tried to communicate politely. But, I’ll still fight for it for the sake of my “little peaceful moment”.Hm.. .What did I do to get that? LOL~ By banging the door, shouting out loud, throwing stuff against the wall. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So, can you imagine I have to bang the door everyday?? You’ll just laugh off nicely…But to be honest, I don’t bang it everyday, just occasionally.

Next, what if I meet my neighbour face to face? It depends, if I am in the good mood, I’ll be nice, otherwise (or the music is too loud), I’ll just walk pass them. Mind you, they have no obligations to take care of me, neither do they have the responsibility on my happiness or well-being. In other words, I can freely express my concern but they can choose not to listen. This is one thing I learn from them.

Now I have two choices; complain or deal with it. That’s the hardest thing for me. It’s just a repeating cycle; I get so angry at first, complain later, feeling nothing after that. I have no strength to pray for more patience and love, sadly. I just complain, releasing my anger to God…Only God knows.

***

I am currently working on my thesis. This is the first time I am designing my own experiment and testing it as to whether it answers my questions. Going into laboratory without knowing whether or not my experiment is going to work out, that’s adventurous and boring at the same time, because I am so used to “Prepared Model Answers”. I am a bit lost at first, I don’t know where am I heading to, what if I couldn’t get it? What is the right way? What am I doing? How I hope there’ll be one book that telling me the right way to do it and the model answers to all my questions.

***

Well, to be exact, I want God to fix all my problems while I can carry on with my way of enjoying life. I fast-forward the worst part and go on with the good part, putting Him away when I am in good shape. This is the real side of me. And, I don’t embrace all these, so don’t copy me please (especially the banging door part!). This is the part where God has to deal with me, in order to change my way of thinking and living. I need to hand over myself to Him, good or bad, He is in control. I can be a good Christian, but not a good disciple. Last week during church service, a sister shared about discipleship, now that hits me a lot because I don’t have what she said as a disciple of God. I am just plainly an easy, convenient Christian.

But God is yet to give up on me, this sister is sending His message to me,

“Then he said to them all, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  - Luke 9:23

It can be your addictions, bad habits, money…anything that draws you away from Him, He is there helping you to overcome these obstacles. . He is interested in bringing you back into His arms and He is there to put away any stumbling blocks that draw you away from Him.

“…because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” – Romans 5:3-5

The power of weakness is the strongest if you allow God to work on them, because He can turn bad into good, impossible to possible.  

Are you ready to give God the real you today? 

- To be continued - 

By,

Word n Music 

YOU! YES, YOU!! CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Saw the date of our last post, it was 24th Dec 2011.
Supposed to update our blog last month,
but I have to admit that my work has exhausted me over the past 3 months.
So ya, finally, here I am, managed to squeeze out some energy to come out with this new entry.

Just wanna share about what I have observed and felt during these 3 months.
All these while, I'm always convinced that each one of us,
though we are seemingly an insignificant individual among the 7 billion population on earth,
but we are able to make a difference in someone's life in everything we do.

Today, being in a profession where we couldn't afford to make a single mistake,
I couldn't agree more if someone is to tell me that 'You can make a difference through a simple act in your daily life.'

For instance, let's try to picture this.

Setting: Hospital Pharmacy

Workflow:

Individual A:
The 1st person to screen the prescription to make sure the medications and doses are written correctly. If everything is fine, he/she will take the medicines and put in a basket, and will pass to Individual B.

Individual B:
The 2nd person that screens the prescription again to detect any error and he/she will check whether Individual A has got the correct medicines. If everything is fine, Individual B will label the medicine with instructions of taking it and pass to Individual C.

Individual C: 
The 3rd and also the last person to screen the prescription to detect medication errors and he/she will check whether the medicines are being filled and labeled correctly. If everything is fine, Individual C shall dispense the medicines to the patient whom is the end user of the medicines.

Alright, now, what if, there's a medicine that is meant for a kid but an adult dose was prescribed,
But no one discovers it. Why? Because...

Individual A thinks that I will just fill the medicine in the basket without screening through the prescription,
afterall Individual B and C will surely check for me later.

And Individual B thinks that Individual A must have screened through the prescription and Individual C will surely screen again before he/she dispense out the medicine,
so I shall just label accordingly without thinking it much.

Individual C thinks that definitely Individual A & B have checked through everything before they passed the medicines to me, so I shall just dispense the medicines to the patient.

In the end, patient suffers due to medication error.
The consequences could be fatal at times.

If each individual above plays their part well,
human life would not be sacrificed.
Lives would be saved.

So now, can you see the impact of a simple act of a single individual? = )

This does not just apply to healthcare profession but every single person.

If you are part of the service crew in a restaurant,
you decide the reputation of the restaurant,
whether this restaurant offers friendly and warm service.

If you are a teacher,
you decide the reputation of the school,
whether the school able to provide education of quality and integrity.

If you are a sales representative,
you decide the reputation of your company,
whether the customers are getting goods supply from a reliable company.

If you are a hairstylist,
you decide the image of your client,
whether he and she could walk out from the hair saloon confidently.

If you are a car mechanic,
you decide the safety of the vehicle,
whether the driver and the passengers can reach their destination safely.

And if you are a friend of someone,
a harsh word of yours breaks your friend;
but a word of encouragement makes your friend's day.

We never know how great the impact of our little act of kindness would bring,
but let's decide to make a positive difference in someone's life today.
You might be able to save a life directly or indirectly.
You never know = )

Galatians 6:9-10

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

"Therefore, as we have opportunity,
let us do good to all,
especially to those who are of the household of faith."

God bless you. = )


By His facilitator

Moments

Handed in my last 3 assignments, packed my bag and went to London for 3 days.

Sharing a dorm with other back packers, with a map and travel card – that was my London trip.

When I was happily taking photos of big ben, here comes a bunch of people surrounding me and my friends, trying to give us flowers and asking for donation. We were not allowed to give coins, only paper money. Next, we were approached by another group of people wearing royal costume, trying to persuade us to take picture, and of course, asking money from us. We gave the first group, not the later. So, to warn you who are visiting England, do not accept anything from strangers and say no to any type of donation when you feel uneasy about it.

Do I feel angry about it? Yes…definitely.

Later we heard from a friend her experience about being cheated by landlord. Obviously our case was comparatively less serious than hers.

Do I feel relieve about it after all? No…cheating is cheating, it doesn’t matter how big the amount is.

Overall it was an eye opening experience to me.  

***

I shifted to another hall a month ago

I realize that cooking is a good way to release stress

I learn that it is okay to ask for help

I accept it when people refuse to help. It just simply means I have to figure out some other ways on my own.

It is okay to say no when I don’t feel right about it.

I know who to turn to when I have problems.

I know how to manage to my emotions.

Most importantly, I am learning to acknowledge my moments – happiness, sadness, bitterness…

I cried more than ever when I am here compare to KL.

I refuse to be perfect, because no one is.

I stop trying to be one, because I know where my “Exit” sign is.

It seems like I have a life over here.  

That is something I never know I can do.

***

When I am filled with myself, God cannot come into my life.

That’s where I lost my way to the “Exit” sign.

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?”   

- Luke 9:25

God wants my real emotions, not how well I can hide them from others.

He wants me to ask Him for direction, not how well I can survive without Him.

When I know I have God behind my back, I have the strength to go through tough times.

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” 

– Mark 12:31

When I cant get real with myself before God, I am torturing myself.

So friends, stop torturing and start forgiving yourself.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 

 1 John 4:18

I always have this in my mind - God is holding my hands tight no matter what.

Similarly, He wants the same from you.

He is there when you are releasing your anger, when you are crying, when you are laughing…

He wants to know the real you.

Give God your moments.

Tell God when you are angry, complain to Him your bitterness…

Don’t forget about Him, He is always there waiting at the exit, waving His Hands to show you the direction.

Live your life with God, let Him peel off your mask and carry your emotions. You don’t have to face the world alone.

God loves us. So start loving yourself today. 

When I know you can take good care of yourself, I have no worries about you taking care of others.

Let me ask you again,

What were your moments with God?

Hm...

Let us not forget about the greatest gift from Heaven, given by the Lord for us today.

Merry Christmas.

By,

Word n Music

The Messy Phase

3 weeks have passed since I got my posting on 10th Nov 2011.
How time flies...
But I'm still in the transition period.
I'm still adjusting myself to this brand new phase of my life;
afterall I had been living sedentary lifestyle in the past 5 months while waiting for my 'love letter'. = D

It was not easy especially for the first 2 weeks.
My brain was not efficient as all.
It was so lazy.
And I wasn't familiar with my new working environment as well as the workflow there,
so I was inefficient and I felt really useless.

I had high expectations on myself.
I was drowned in all the 'don't know's.
I gave myself tremendous pressure.
In just 2 weeks time, my soul was so downcast and I was basically dragging myself to my workplace each day.

Until God spoke to me..
He reminded me that there's a messy phase before things turn out to be beautiful.

Somehow this question came into my mind,
'Have you ever seen a beautiful concrete house appear in an overnight time?'

NO, of course.

Before every beautiful house was fully constructed and renovated,
it definitely needs to go through a messy phase.
A phase where you see cement everywhere;
stacks of red bricks at the sides;
paint spilled here and there;
wiring hanging around visibly, etc.

It's ugly.
It's not beautiful at all.
But it's a MUST.
There's no other way.
This is the process that needed to be gone through in order to reach the beautiful phase.

The same goes to human beings.
In terms of knowledge,
I can't reach the 'expert phase' before I go through this 'don't know phase'.
And for character wise,
God is using this situation and this transition to shape me and mould me into a better person.
A person that resembles Him
and a person that's beautiful in His eyes. = )

I came across this article during a cell group gathering last 2 months.
It goes like this..

A woman was watching a silversmith.
He held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up.
He explained that in refining silver,
one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

Then she asked the silversmith,
'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy- WHEN I SEE MY IMAGE IN IT.'

So, if you too, are in the same situation as me,
just wanna say, 'Rejoice and press on, for you are on the way to the beautiful phase~~' ; )

Wish you awesome days ahead.
God bless you. = )


By His facilitator


  

Thoughts in my mind

Greetings from UK~:)

One Word.

BUSY!

While I am trying to figure things out, it’s already November. I am here for almost two months. What can I say but TIME JUST FLIES!!~

But one thing always stays in my mind.

I never thought I can be where I am today.

“This is unbelievably true. Am I dreaming?”

***

Man: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

Jesus: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

But we don’t take ‘NO’ as an answer. Don’t you?

Well, especially me.

In a negative way.

That makes me the most insecure person who lives like the sky is going to fall on me anytime.

When I think I am all geared up for something,

God says “NO”

Just in case God says “NO”,

I need a plan B.

As time goes by, I am sinking into working with my plan B rather than seeking His perfect plan for me.

Sounds familiar?

***

God works through you and me.

Step by step,

He is showing you a bigger picture of what He has for you.

He provides you,

and walk with you.

That sounds like a perfect plan.

***

You feel good at first,

A little worry later,

Not feeling so good much later,

You start your own plan.

But God says “NO”

You say, “God, why me?”

***

God says “Knock and the door will be opened.”

I knocked and He said “NO”

The bible says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.”

I tried my very best and yet I failed.

Jesus says, “Come to me all those who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest.”

It works for a few hours in the morning and starts worrying again at night.

He says, “My way is higher than your way, My thoughts is higher than your thoughts.”

I ask, “God, what do you want from me?”

Have you ever asked God the same question as I am?

***

I wouldn’t be where I am or do what I am doing today if God opened every door that I’ve knocked.

He has to close some doors so that I can stop and listen to Him – “The best is yet to come”

I wouldn’t know His perfect grace and love until the day I failed Him.

A few hours of peace is enough for me to continue.

He stops me, so that I can talk to Him.

He wants me to ask Him, “What do you want from me.”

Simple,

Your full attention.

***

Before you can face the challenges, He squeezes out all your inequities.

“Like a wart, God needs to squeeze out all my weaknesses out before I can take up the challenges.” (modified from “Facing your giants – Max Lucado”)

And of course,

Pain is the consequences of it.

And He does it with the intention of Love.

***

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?”

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

“Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.”

“Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

Hebrews 12:7, 11-13

****

“…What he opens, no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.”

Revelation 3:7

***

When God is saying No, He is actually opening another door for you.

and at the same time preparing you to face the challenges after that door.

He is still there with me, as always.

Thank You, Lord.

Amen.

***

by

Word n Music

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT YOURSELF TO SEE?

If our daily activities have been under the surveillance of CCTV,
what do we expect ourselves to see at the end of the 24 hours when we replay it?

Are we going to see a familiar figure that slept most of the time except the time for brunch and dinner?

Or

Someone that stuck his/her eyes on facebook 20 hours a day?

Or

A person that kept playing Angry Bird until he/she got very angry most of the time?

Or

Are we expecting to see somebody who has been 'exercising' his/her index finger on the iPhone or iPad from day to night without interacting with anyone else?

Or

Are we going to someone with a mouth that never shut because he/she has so much to complain as if everyone on the surface of the earth and the Creator of it were in debt to him/her?

And if we were to make it into a movie,
what kind of response shall we anticipate from the audiences?

Are we going to find them dozing off?
Or will we find them being attentive right from the beginning all the way to the end;
with loud applause coming along the way?

Well, why am I writing this?
To condemn people that sleep, eat and play Angry Bird?
Or to discrimintate facebook, iPhone and iPad users?

ABSOLUTELY NOOOOO!!!

That's not my intention at all.

The fact is while waiting for my posting for months (since end of May until now),
I found myself wasting my time and my life away.

I have not been making good use of the abundant time that I had.
For the first few months I was occupied with some stuff,
but for the recent month, I was lost.

I didn't manage my time well and I know I hadn't fulfilled the purpose that my Creator had for my life.
The sense of fulfillment was so distant from me.

Until I was led to a book written by John C. Maxwell titled TODAY MATTERS.
That was the book I needed the most at this point of time.
It reminded me the value of TODAY.

"Your greatest possesion is the twenty-four hours you have directly ahead of you.
How will you spend it?
Will you give in to pressure or focus on priorities?
Will you allow pointless e-mails, unimportant tasks, telemarketers, interruptions,
and other distractions to consume your day?
Or will you take complete responsibility for how you spend your time,
take control of the things you can,
and make today yours?
IF YOU DON'T DECIDE HOW YOUR DAY WILL BE SPENT, SOMEONE ELSE WILL."

- Quoted from TODAY MATTERS by John C. Maxwell (emphasis added)  

I was struck by this.
I thank God for using this precious book to awaken me.
Then I began to plan my days well and put them into actions.
And I have begun to embrace the sense of fulfillment once again.

I just want to share this with ya all so that together, we shall evaluate our 'TODAY'.

Are we satisfied with it?
Is our TODAY an inspiring one?
Is our TODAY a fulfilling one?
Have we fulfilled the purpose of being put on earth on this very day?

Can a calculator be used as a phone?
Or a printer to be used as camera?

NOPE.

They were created for their specific functions.
SO ARE WE.

Just like every device, machine or any invention,
you and I were created for a purpose.

And if the calculator has never been used to solve mathematical questions,
it was then created in vain.
Bacause it has never fulfilled what it was intended to be.

If iPhone has fulfilled its purpose by serving the mankind; making people's lives easier,
have we found the purpose of our lives and fulfilled it each day?

Let's take some time to ponder over it.

Ephesians 5:15-17

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be unwise,
But understand what the will of the Lord is."

May your TODAYs be awesome ones and may they put a sweet smile on your face as you reflect them at the end of the days. = )


By His facilitator



    

  
  

My days in a different land.

13 hours flight, 40kg++ stuff and here I am in UK. How’s that feel? Well, I had a serious jet lag, I was terribly homesick, no familiar faces, no more char kuew teow and longtime favourite Teh C. Checked in to hostel, registered to university and reported myself to the course, went through the whole orientation programme, saw my final year coursemates. But NOTHING fills my empty heart. I wanna go back to Malaysia so badly. What fills it in then? Fear, loneliness, self-pity…finally, I broke into tears. I called home, I just cried. Will I be able to make it through? Why am I here? Why must I go through this? Why am I putting myself in all of these? As if I am in a really miserable situation right now. The moment I walk down the street, my heart just drop to the bottom. I don’t belong here. I am trying to stay positive, but the truth is - it’s just harder than I thought.

40kg++ stuff doesn’t help much either, 3 different brand of instant coffee and tea is the only Malaysian Food that I can bring, the rest?? Winter clothing, some toiletries, not more than 10 pieces of normal clothing, 2 hand bags, 1 pair of sandals, and sport shoe. Travel Light? IT IS HEAVY MY DEAR…

What was added on to the luggage was my own fear: I know it’ll be great, but how about the worst? I’ve put in a lot of “how about” into my luggage bag. I feel restless, I can’t sleep well, I asked my mum, “Am I normal? This is normal but painful process before everyone going through the next step?” I was clueless.

Friends were asking me, “How are you? Everything is fine with you?”

To be honest, my answer is kind of disappointed. I often said “Yes, I am good. I love the scenery.” Sorry my friends. The truth is, I am still in the process of culture shock-ing, adapting, crying, complaining, blaming here and there…It was an eye opening experiences, but everything was started in a painful way. Ouch~~ But yes, I do love the scenery very much and that’s the only answer I have at the moment.

“How am I going to cope with this?”

“Guide me, Lord”

And the I saw this,

‎"You Can Never Cross the Ocean Unless You Have the Courage to Lose Sight of the Shore" 

-by Christopher Columbus

Pierce right into my heart.

I am focusing on what is not supposed to be worried about. I forgot that God has better things for me in life. This happens to me all the time. I always forget that God will guide me through and I should never worry about tomorrow, I always encourage people around to stay positive but crying myself in the room, I always forget that I am a human with feelings too.

“Lord, please remind me each time that You are God in my life”

God never fail to do that. Whenever I was in trouble, He is there reminding me something important – He is God. It has to happen in a painful way so that I know; His way is always higher than my way. I should always look to Him, find peace in Him and rest in His Arms.

So happened to walk around and saw Band of Royal Marines playing “Amazing Grace”. I was amazed, it was like a surprised from a father to a child wanting something so badly. When I was busy looking at my own problem, He told me, “Exchange with Me, give Me your burden, and rest in Me.”

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And then I saw something which amazed me even more,

See the rainbow??~

It always reminds me of the covenant God made with us. It gives me extra strength to move on.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand."

- Isaiah 41:10

God is the only One who can see beyond what I can or cannot do, with Him to walk this journey with me, that's a blessing to me. God sees what is ahead of me and willing to guide me through the oceans when I have so much fear of losing the sight of the shore. What more can i say?

All glory to God.

Amen.

By,

Word n Music