饥饿30 - 感想篇

好久没有上来聊聊天，忙碌的工作成了非常大的借口~好不容易逮到了机会参加饥饿30活动，

想换个环境透透气，想暂时离开自己的舒适区，感受不一样的人情世故…结果是…

1)      突然来到一个900多个义工的团体，有一点不适应；工作的环境让我习惯一个人做八     爪鱼，900多个人让我惊觉一个人再有能力，能做到的非常少。

2)      好久没有感受到那么爽快地付出；那里需要帮忙，只要组长开口，都有一群义工协助，再看看我自己，什么时候，我也学会了斤斤计较，先保护自己，不要吃亏。

3)      说是去认识新朋友，但却懒得先开口说话，什么时候，我不再像从前那么热情。

4)      说是义工，但只要自己的工作做完了，就懒得动了。就像平时上班一样，等着下班快点回家。

5)      不再期望之后会有什么后续，过了就算了。

6)      领养了一个小孩，只希望他快快乐乐长大，活着既然不容易，但让人想活下去的一定是一个美好的希望，希望他也是这么想。

生活既然那么多无奈，那生活下去的理由一定是让人觉得 -“我可以改变现在的状况”。

让我想想…现在可以让我继续走下去理由只有一个，

“If you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you..,”

泛黄的圣经，多久没有打开来好好领受上帝的话语，说起来，又是让我惭愧的事情，朋友一句“Faith without work is dead”没有实际行动，又信念又如何？

我…无言…

祷告，已假装不了，因为袮的爱我需要，袮心意对我重...

Please carry me Lord…

Word n Music

仰望

4 May 2013

11pm

工作完毕，拖着疲惫的身躯，随便吃个晚餐，回家冲凉，简单收拾行李，准备去机场。但这次的心情不同，有种要完成一个使命的感觉。

6am

同事载我去KL Sentral,虽然早已买好票，但全程走路都是用 ’飞’的速度赶去坐KLIA Express
Train 到机场 - 我是个标准的 ‘紧张大师’，尤其是赶飞机。

9.20am

通常一上飞机我都一路睡到降落，但这次做我隔壁的小姐和我聊天，一直到降落前20分钟，没停过。我们成长的故事都不同，但我们都有同一个目的，我想当天回家的游子们都一样 – 就是把我们手中的一票投给未来。

3am

一直都有跟进选举的报告，但此时此刻，心情很复杂，睡不着~

终于

5 May 2013

7.13am

起床准备去投票，投票区外面很多人，尤其我的Saluran。虽然看了几百遍youtube的投票tutorial,还是忍不住问爸爸投票有什么程序，要注意些什么。

10.30am

到我了，过程很快，要注意的细节都看过了，没问题，放心投吧！出来的那一刻，好爽！蓝食指是当天的trend! 哈哈~

7pm

看着电视，开着lap-top, 开着苹果，一直注意选情~ 朋友们互相你一言我一语，fb 忙着帮忙share什么地区需要人手帮忙~ 我想没有人可以说我们不团结。一个选举可以把全国人民团结起来，保护自己及下一代的未来。我想，这不是任何人可以随意摧毁的。

1am

新政府成立了。

3am

心情很沉重，我想每个人都是。Fb一片漆黑，都盖不过心中失望。很累了~

6 May 2013

We will stay focus and united. To all Warriors of Malaysia, for a clean n fair election n a better future, Cheers!

Poker Face

I just received another sad news. Well, I guess God is stretching my limit on this.

I met this young lady during my summer trip to Europe. She came with her parents, a very bubbly, joyful and outspoken young teenager. We exchanged e-mail address; they invited us to pay them a visit anytime soon. A few minutes ago, I was told something bad happened to her. When I saw pictures of her on Facebook, and finally read the e-mail, my heart felt for her and her extended family.

Poker Face. This is what my friend describes me, she said I can always stay calm under critical situation. The fact is, I don’t always do that. But both my friend and this young lady actually trigger me to ask one question, “How many of us actually living under a poker face life?”

When we thought we are helping others to get over a bad situation, we couldn’t make it ourselves. When we thought we are putting on a smiley face but actually we are bleeding inside. We thought we are alone, abandoned and couldn’t make up to what people think we should be. At the end of the day, we are just a failure in disguise.

Do you get encouraged when people say, “Don’t give up, you are almost there.”? Do you believe it when they say,” You’ll be doing fine, don’t worry.”? We often hear this, but do we really take it seriously?

It seems like we have no one to share our problems, our deepest fear and hurt. It looks like we cannot be weak, or at least, we should pretend to be strong. Are you living under a poker face life? And thinking you are at the dead end, no one is listening and helping? Are you planning to end your life? I hope you are not doing this. Please don’t do this.  

Can I encourage you to share your burden to one closest friend of me? He is just a prayer away, tell Him your deepest hurt and fear, He will definitely go through the tough time with you, He is willing to carry you through it. When you think no one knows you, remember, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.”

If He can bring you to it, He can bring you through it.

My prayers go to you.

p/s: Friend, this song is for you. 

The Lifebuilder's Creed

Greatly motivated by this- "The Lifebuilder's Creed" by Dale Witherington

when I first came across it in 'Today Matters' by John C. Maxwell.

So just thought of sharing it with you guys.

May we make each day our masterpiece for Him, by His grace. = )

Today is the most important day of my life.

Yesterday with its successes and victories, struggles and failures

Is gone forever.

The past is past.

Done.

Finished.

I cannot relive it. I cannot go back and change it.

But I will learn from it and improve my Today.

Today. This moment. NOW.

It is God’s gift to me and it is all that I have.

Tomorrow with its joys and sorrows, triumphs and troubles isn’t here yet.

Indeed, tomorrow may never come.

Therefore, I will not worry about tomorrow.

Today is what God has entrusted to me.

It is all that I have. I will do my best in it.

I will demonstrate the best of me in it-

My character, giftedness, and abilities-

To my family and friends, clients and associates.

I will identify those things that are most important to do Today,

And those things I will do until they are done.

And when this day is done

I will look back with satisfaction at that

Which I have accomplished.

Then, and only then, will I plan my tomorrow,

Looking to improve upon Today, with God’s help.

Then I shall go to sleep in peace…content.

May you be greatly encouraged by this poem by Dale Witherington.

God bless ya = )

By His facilitator

消失了？

今天想用中文写写心情~

还没算过自己写了多少身边的人、事、物。但很感谢这么久以来愿意花时间来了解我们身边所发生的事情的朋友们。呵呵。。。谢啦~

消失了大半年，到底做了些什么？

6月之7月：

1) 去了趟欧洲 - 在法国差点儿被小偷得逞；终于爬上了瑞士少女峰，还学人家寄了张明信片回家；在摄氏40度的意大利罗马逛到脚麻痹；奥地利的花真的很美；德国的香肠没有想象中好吃；荷兰的红灯区，隔壁就是一座教堂，错过了看郁金香的季节，但看到了风车。

拍了很多照片，跟很多人聊天，和陌生人擦肩而过。

三个字，“很过瘾”。

欧洲，我会再回来~

2）终于毕业了 - 戴上了梦寐以求的四方帽，告诉自己，“熬这么久，就是为了这个，值得！”我常常告诉自己，英国是上帝让我开眼界的地方；想要看到不同的风景，就要有勇气离开原来的地方；想要挑战自己的极限，就要去有竞争力的地方。所以我来到了一直不敢尝试 的国家 - 新加坡。

8月- 9 月：

1）在家待了一个多月，一面担心自己的前途，一面找浏览jobstreet.com, jobsdb.com； 一面寄履历，一面祈祷自己赶快找到适合的工作。一天晚上，睡前做了一个祷告，“上帝，如果新加坡在袮安排之中，让我找到合适的工作吧。” 就这样，开斋节前夕到了新加坡，准备面试。心情非常紧张，一路上哥哥一直陪我聊天；幸好有他，要不然我真的会胃穿洞。朋友告诉我这家医院很有名，自己心里有底，“应该不会请我吧，但没关系，慢慢找。” 结果第二天给了我一个大大的惊喜 – 被录取了；那时还在逛街，看着iphone，手一直在发抖。拨了一通电话告诉爸爸，眼泪在眼眶中打滚，很想哭。

就这样，签下了第一份 聘书，开心的不得了。但接下来，却是漫长的等待 – 申请工作证。一心想着可以快点拿到工作证，赶快开工，素不知一等再等，结果还是一样。。。等。每天醒来，一样的事情重复着做；吃饭，睡觉，看电视。一直告诉自己，去运动，看书，出去找找朋友 ，但一觉醒来，什么都不想做，赖在家发呆。朋友说就当作放假吧，要是哪一天开工了，想要请假就难了。哥哥说，“买份报纸，继续找工，总要有个plan B。” 这时再也忍不住，流泪了。从那时的充满自信到现在渐渐失去信心、不踏实。。。说真的，我也搞不清楚了。

2）听到一个消息，朋友进了医院，家人朋友都不放弃，一直在身边陪伴及鼓励她。这位朋友，中学同班一年，毕业后聚会偶尔会碰面。回想起中学时期，忘了多少次擦肩而过，彼此都知道对方的存在。淡淡的友情，心里却掀起了很大的龙卷风。今晚没来得及看天空，不知道你在吗？如果有机会梦到你，我们不要再擦肩而过，我们。。。坐下来聊天，好吗？

10月：

此时此刻，心情五味杂陈，你呢？

如果让我重新选择，我会选择安全牌，还是不安牌理出牌，勇敢冒险，然后写下一些值得回味的文章？你呢？

没有解不开的心结，过不了的关，放不下的恨。。。不要等到失去，才知道当初自己有多笨。撑过了今天，明天就没有那么痛了。就算哭到旁边的人都顶不顺，告诉你，一百年才见一次，管他的~~

p/s: 朋友，梦里见。还有。。这首歌，送你~

文字与音乐

HIV . HOPE . TB

Faith.Hope.Love. 
Ya, sounds logic and relevant.


But HIV.Hope.TB?
How do they relate to each other?
HIV and TB, ya, they both relate to depressing diseases;
nothing wrong to put these words together.


But how could Hope come between them?
Or rather how could Hope arise from them?


Served a HIV cum TB patient last month.
He has been in the TB ward for months.
I haven't seen anyone visited him throughout the week that I ministered to him.
Loneliness and solitude were what I saw in him.


A few thoughts came into my mind whenever I saw him.
Perhaps his family and friends have given up on him.
Perhaps he has hurt his loved ones in a deep way that we couldn't comprehend.
Perhaps deep down in his heart, he wished he could be given a brand new chance in his life and this time round he would make different major decisions in his life.
Perhaps like everyone else, he has also given up himself because he just couldn't see hope in his life anymore. 


Have you ever felt so ashamed that you wished you could just turn back time and erase those destructive actions of yours unto others?


Have you ever been in a situation where guilt and remorse were so overwhelming and you wished you could be given one more chance to reverse the entire scenario?


Have you ever felt so desperate and hopeless to an extent where you see death as the only solution for all your problems?


John 10:10 (NKJV; emphasis added)


"The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." 


Matthew 9:10-13 (NKJV; emphasis added)


"Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, 
that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and his disciples.


And when the Pharisees saw it,
they said to His disciples,
"Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"


When Jesus heard that, He said to them,
"Those who are well have no need of a physician, 
but those who are sick.
But go and learn what this means:
'I desire mercy and not sacrifice.'
For I did not come to call the righteous, 
but sinners, to repentance."


Luke 4:18 (NKJV)


"The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me 
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set liberty to those who are oppressed..."


So now, what do you see from the above verses?

I see a loving God wanted so much to give His creations abundant life.
I see a merciful God wanted so much to restore our broken lives; whether we have messed it up ourselves or broken by others.
Above all, I see Hope in the midst of sins, sickness and shame.


It's never your Creator's desire for you to bear the guilt and shame.
It's never His intention to see you drown in your regrets and self-condemnation.
But it's always His desire to give you a brand new start in your life; 
no matter what you've done; 
and right where you are;
HE WANTS TO SET YOU FREE.


All we need to do is just a humble confession,
and He will do the rest. = )


HIV.HOPE.TB
Can you relate them now? = )


May you be Blessed by this entry.
God bless you. = )


*HIV- Human immunodeficiency virus
 TB- Tuberculosis

The Real You

Long time no see yooo!!~lol..Please say you miss me..:p

I am good, spending my last three months here in uk and all I can say is TIME FLIES.

What I’ve been doing since my last blog??

Yeah..here you go!~

***

Never in my life I can actually sit down and study for hours, for both lecturers’ note and books. Did I mention BOOKS?? Because I realized that lecturers’ note was not enough to cover the details of what could possibly turn out in exam. It was just a few days before exam. I had the worst burning mid night oil revision ever.  Basically I’d cried badly the day before each paper; that’s how I release tension. I prayed hard, before and after each paper, before revision and before I go to bed. And I promised to write about this if I pass all the subjects. And yes, I did pass all the subjects.

But what I really want to share is, do I pray as hard after that?? The answer is…NOT REALLY.

***

It seems like wherever I stay, there will be a noisy neighbour. Be it loud music or partying, those were the very LAST thing I would like to deal with after a long tiring day. It did not turn out the way I wanted even though I tried to communicate politely. But, I’ll still fight for it for the sake of my “little peaceful moment”.Hm.. .What did I do to get that? LOL~ By banging the door, shouting out loud, throwing stuff against the wall. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. So, can you imagine I have to bang the door everyday?? You’ll just laugh off nicely…But to be honest, I don’t bang it everyday, just occasionally.

Next, what if I meet my neighbour face to face? It depends, if I am in the good mood, I’ll be nice, otherwise (or the music is too loud), I’ll just walk pass them. Mind you, they have no obligations to take care of me, neither do they have the responsibility on my happiness or well-being. In other words, I can freely express my concern but they can choose not to listen. This is one thing I learn from them.

Now I have two choices; complain or deal with it. That’s the hardest thing for me. It’s just a repeating cycle; I get so angry at first, complain later, feeling nothing after that. I have no strength to pray for more patience and love, sadly. I just complain, releasing my anger to God…Only God knows.

***

I am currently working on my thesis. This is the first time I am designing my own experiment and testing it as to whether it answers my questions. Going into laboratory without knowing whether or not my experiment is going to work out, that’s adventurous and boring at the same time, because I am so used to “Prepared Model Answers”. I am a bit lost at first, I don’t know where am I heading to, what if I couldn’t get it? What is the right way? What am I doing? How I hope there’ll be one book that telling me the right way to do it and the model answers to all my questions.

***

Well, to be exact, I want God to fix all my problems while I can carry on with my way of enjoying life. I fast-forward the worst part and go on with the good part, putting Him away when I am in good shape. This is the real side of me. And, I don’t embrace all these, so don’t copy me please (especially the banging door part!). This is the part where God has to deal with me, in order to change my way of thinking and living. I need to hand over myself to Him, good or bad, He is in control. I can be a good Christian, but not a good disciple. Last week during church service, a sister shared about discipleship, now that hits me a lot because I don’t have what she said as a disciple of God. I am just plainly an easy, convenient Christian.

But God is yet to give up on me, this sister is sending His message to me,

“Then he said to them all, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”  - Luke 9:23

It can be your addictions, bad habits, money…anything that draws you away from Him, He is there helping you to overcome these obstacles. . He is interested in bringing you back into His arms and He is there to put away any stumbling blocks that draw you away from Him.

“…because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” – Romans 5:3-5

The power of weakness is the strongest if you allow God to work on them, because He can turn bad into good, impossible to possible.  

Are you ready to give God the real you today? 

- To be continued - 

By,

Word n Music 

YOU! YES, YOU!! CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Saw the date of our last post, it was 24th Dec 2011.
Supposed to update our blog last month,
but I have to admit that my work has exhausted me over the past 3 months.
So ya, finally, here I am, managed to squeeze out some energy to come out with this new entry.

Just wanna share about what I have observed and felt during these 3 months.
All these while, I'm always convinced that each one of us,
though we are seemingly an insignificant individual among the 7 billion population on earth,
but we are able to make a difference in someone's life in everything we do.

Today, being in a profession where we couldn't afford to make a single mistake,
I couldn't agree more if someone is to tell me that 'You can make a difference through a simple act in your daily life.'

For instance, let's try to picture this.

Setting: Hospital Pharmacy

Workflow:

Individual A:
The 1st person to screen the prescription to make sure the medications and doses are written correctly. If everything is fine, he/she will take the medicines and put in a basket, and will pass to Individual B.

Individual B:
The 2nd person that screens the prescription again to detect any error and he/she will check whether Individual A has got the correct medicines. If everything is fine, Individual B will label the medicine with instructions of taking it and pass to Individual C.

Individual C: 
The 3rd and also the last person to screen the prescription to detect medication errors and he/she will check whether the medicines are being filled and labeled correctly. If everything is fine, Individual C shall dispense the medicines to the patient whom is the end user of the medicines.

Alright, now, what if, there's a medicine that is meant for a kid but an adult dose was prescribed,
But no one discovers it. Why? Because...

Individual A thinks that I will just fill the medicine in the basket without screening through the prescription,
afterall Individual B and C will surely check for me later.

And Individual B thinks that Individual A must have screened through the prescription and Individual C will surely screen again before he/she dispense out the medicine,
so I shall just label accordingly without thinking it much.

Individual C thinks that definitely Individual A & B have checked through everything before they passed the medicines to me, so I shall just dispense the medicines to the patient.

In the end, patient suffers due to medication error.
The consequences could be fatal at times.

If each individual above plays their part well,
human life would not be sacrificed.
Lives would be saved.

So now, can you see the impact of a simple act of a single individual? = )

This does not just apply to healthcare profession but every single person.

If you are part of the service crew in a restaurant,
you decide the reputation of the restaurant,
whether this restaurant offers friendly and warm service.

If you are a teacher,
you decide the reputation of the school,
whether the school able to provide education of quality and integrity.

If you are a sales representative,
you decide the reputation of your company,
whether the customers are getting goods supply from a reliable company.

If you are a hairstylist,
you decide the image of your client,
whether he and she could walk out from the hair saloon confidently.

If you are a car mechanic,
you decide the safety of the vehicle,
whether the driver and the passengers can reach their destination safely.

And if you are a friend of someone,
a harsh word of yours breaks your friend;
but a word of encouragement makes your friend's day.

We never know how great the impact of our little act of kindness would bring,
but let's decide to make a positive difference in someone's life today.
You might be able to save a life directly or indirectly.
You never know = )

Galatians 6:9-10

"And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

"Therefore, as we have opportunity,
let us do good to all,
especially to those who are of the household of faith."

God bless you. = )


By His facilitator

Moments

Handed in my last 3 assignments, packed my bag and went to London for 3 days.

Sharing a dorm with other back packers, with a map and travel card – that was my London trip.

When I was happily taking photos of big ben, here comes a bunch of people surrounding me and my friends, trying to give us flowers and asking for donation. We were not allowed to give coins, only paper money. Next, we were approached by another group of people wearing royal costume, trying to persuade us to take picture, and of course, asking money from us. We gave the first group, not the later. So, to warn you who are visiting England, do not accept anything from strangers and say no to any type of donation when you feel uneasy about it.

Do I feel angry about it? Yes…definitely.

Later we heard from a friend her experience about being cheated by landlord. Obviously our case was comparatively less serious than hers.

Do I feel relieve about it after all? No…cheating is cheating, it doesn’t matter how big the amount is.

Overall it was an eye opening experience to me.  

***

I shifted to another hall a month ago

I realize that cooking is a good way to release stress

I learn that it is okay to ask for help

I accept it when people refuse to help. It just simply means I have to figure out some other ways on my own.

It is okay to say no when I don’t feel right about it.

I know who to turn to when I have problems.

I know how to manage to my emotions.

Most importantly, I am learning to acknowledge my moments – happiness, sadness, bitterness…

I cried more than ever when I am here compare to KL.

I refuse to be perfect, because no one is.

I stop trying to be one, because I know where my “Exit” sign is.

It seems like I have a life over here.  

That is something I never know I can do.

***

When I am filled with myself, God cannot come into my life.

That’s where I lost my way to the “Exit” sign.

“What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?”   

- Luke 9:25

God wants my real emotions, not how well I can hide them from others.

He wants me to ask Him for direction, not how well I can survive without Him.

When I know I have God behind my back, I have the strength to go through tough times.

“The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” 

– Mark 12:31

When I cant get real with myself before God, I am torturing myself.

So friends, stop torturing and start forgiving yourself.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” 

 1 John 4:18

I always have this in my mind - God is holding my hands tight no matter what.

Similarly, He wants the same from you.

He is there when you are releasing your anger, when you are crying, when you are laughing…

He wants to know the real you.

Give God your moments.

Tell God when you are angry, complain to Him your bitterness…

Don’t forget about Him, He is always there waiting at the exit, waving His Hands to show you the direction.

Live your life with God, let Him peel off your mask and carry your emotions. You don’t have to face the world alone.

God loves us. So start loving yourself today. 

When I know you can take good care of yourself, I have no worries about you taking care of others.

Let me ask you again,

What were your moments with God?

Hm...

Let us not forget about the greatest gift from Heaven, given by the Lord for us today.

Merry Christmas.

By,

Word n Music

The Messy Phase

3 weeks have passed since I got my posting on 10th Nov 2011.
How time flies...
But I'm still in the transition period.
I'm still adjusting myself to this brand new phase of my life;
afterall I had been living sedentary lifestyle in the past 5 months while waiting for my 'love letter'. = D

It was not easy especially for the first 2 weeks.
My brain was not efficient as all.
It was so lazy.
And I wasn't familiar with my new working environment as well as the workflow there,
so I was inefficient and I felt really useless.

I had high expectations on myself.
I was drowned in all the 'don't know's.
I gave myself tremendous pressure.
In just 2 weeks time, my soul was so downcast and I was basically dragging myself to my workplace each day.

Until God spoke to me..
He reminded me that there's a messy phase before things turn out to be beautiful.

Somehow this question came into my mind,
'Have you ever seen a beautiful concrete house appear in an overnight time?'

NO, of course.

Before every beautiful house was fully constructed and renovated,
it definitely needs to go through a messy phase.
A phase where you see cement everywhere;
stacks of red bricks at the sides;
paint spilled here and there;
wiring hanging around visibly, etc.

It's ugly.
It's not beautiful at all.
But it's a MUST.
There's no other way.
This is the process that needed to be gone through in order to reach the beautiful phase.

The same goes to human beings.
In terms of knowledge,
I can't reach the 'expert phase' before I go through this 'don't know phase'.
And for character wise,
God is using this situation and this transition to shape me and mould me into a better person.
A person that resembles Him
and a person that's beautiful in His eyes. = )

I came across this article during a cell group gathering last 2 months.
It goes like this..

A woman was watching a silversmith.
He held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up.
He explained that in refining silver,
one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

Then she asked the silversmith,
'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy- WHEN I SEE MY IMAGE IN IT.'

So, if you too, are in the same situation as me,
just wanna say, 'Rejoice and press on, for you are on the way to the beautiful phase~~' ; )

Wish you awesome days ahead.
God bless you. = )


By His facilitator


  

Thoughts in my mind

Greetings from UK~:)

One Word.

BUSY!

While I am trying to figure things out, it’s already November. I am here for almost two months. What can I say but TIME JUST FLIES!!~

But one thing always stays in my mind.

I never thought I can be where I am today.

“This is unbelievably true. Am I dreaming?”

***

Man: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

Jesus: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

But we don’t take ‘NO’ as an answer. Don’t you?

Well, especially me.

In a negative way.

That makes me the most insecure person who lives like the sky is going to fall on me anytime.

When I think I am all geared up for something,

God says “NO”

Just in case God says “NO”,

I need a plan B.

As time goes by, I am sinking into working with my plan B rather than seeking His perfect plan for me.

Sounds familiar?

***

God works through you and me.

Step by step,

He is showing you a bigger picture of what He has for you.

He provides you,

and walk with you.

That sounds like a perfect plan.

***

You feel good at first,

A little worry later,

Not feeling so good much later,

You start your own plan.

But God says “NO”

You say, “God, why me?”

***

God says “Knock and the door will be opened.”

I knocked and He said “NO”

The bible says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.”

I tried my very best and yet I failed.

Jesus says, “Come to me all those who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest.”

It works for a few hours in the morning and starts worrying again at night.

He says, “My way is higher than your way, My thoughts is higher than your thoughts.”

I ask, “God, what do you want from me?”

Have you ever asked God the same question as I am?

***

I wouldn’t be where I am or do what I am doing today if God opened every door that I’ve knocked.

He has to close some doors so that I can stop and listen to Him – “The best is yet to come”

I wouldn’t know His perfect grace and love until the day I failed Him.

A few hours of peace is enough for me to continue.

He stops me, so that I can talk to Him.

He wants me to ask Him, “What do you want from me.”

Simple,

Your full attention.

***

Before you can face the challenges, He squeezes out all your inequities.

“Like a wart, God needs to squeeze out all my weaknesses out before I can take up the challenges.” (modified from “Facing your giants – Max Lucado”)

And of course,

Pain is the consequences of it.

And He does it with the intention of Love.

***

“Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?”

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

“Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.”

“Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.”

Hebrews 12:7, 11-13

****

“…What he opens, no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.”

Revelation 3:7

***

When God is saying No, He is actually opening another door for you.

and at the same time preparing you to face the challenges after that door.

He is still there with me, as always.

Thank You, Lord.

Amen.

***

by

Word n Music

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT YOURSELF TO SEE?

If our daily activities have been under the surveillance of CCTV,
what do we expect ourselves to see at the end of the 24 hours when we replay it?

Are we going to see a familiar figure that slept most of the time except the time for brunch and dinner?

Or

Someone that stuck his/her eyes on facebook 20 hours a day?

Or

A person that kept playing Angry Bird until he/she got very angry most of the time?

Or

Are we expecting to see somebody who has been 'exercising' his/her index finger on the iPhone or iPad from day to night without interacting with anyone else?

Or

Are we going to someone with a mouth that never shut because he/she has so much to complain as if everyone on the surface of the earth and the Creator of it were in debt to him/her?

And if we were to make it into a movie,
what kind of response shall we anticipate from the audiences?

Are we going to find them dozing off?
Or will we find them being attentive right from the beginning all the way to the end;
with loud applause coming along the way?

Well, why am I writing this?
To condemn people that sleep, eat and play Angry Bird?
Or to discrimintate facebook, iPhone and iPad users?

ABSOLUTELY NOOOOO!!!

That's not my intention at all.

The fact is while waiting for my posting for months (since end of May until now),
I found myself wasting my time and my life away.

I have not been making good use of the abundant time that I had.
For the first few months I was occupied with some stuff,
but for the recent month, I was lost.

I didn't manage my time well and I know I hadn't fulfilled the purpose that my Creator had for my life.
The sense of fulfillment was so distant from me.

Until I was led to a book written by John C. Maxwell titled TODAY MATTERS.
That was the book I needed the most at this point of time.
It reminded me the value of TODAY.

"Your greatest possesion is the twenty-four hours you have directly ahead of you.
How will you spend it?
Will you give in to pressure or focus on priorities?
Will you allow pointless e-mails, unimportant tasks, telemarketers, interruptions,
and other distractions to consume your day?
Or will you take complete responsibility for how you spend your time,
take control of the things you can,
and make today yours?
IF YOU DON'T DECIDE HOW YOUR DAY WILL BE SPENT, SOMEONE ELSE WILL."

- Quoted from TODAY MATTERS by John C. Maxwell (emphasis added)  

I was struck by this.
I thank God for using this precious book to awaken me.
Then I began to plan my days well and put them into actions.
And I have begun to embrace the sense of fulfillment once again.

I just want to share this with ya all so that together, we shall evaluate our 'TODAY'.

Are we satisfied with it?
Is our TODAY an inspiring one?
Is our TODAY a fulfilling one?
Have we fulfilled the purpose of being put on earth on this very day?

Can a calculator be used as a phone?
Or a printer to be used as camera?

NOPE.

They were created for their specific functions.
SO ARE WE.

Just like every device, machine or any invention,
you and I were created for a purpose.

And if the calculator has never been used to solve mathematical questions,
it was then created in vain.
Bacause it has never fulfilled what it was intended to be.

If iPhone has fulfilled its purpose by serving the mankind; making people's lives easier,
have we found the purpose of our lives and fulfilled it each day?

Let's take some time to ponder over it.

Ephesians 5:15-17

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,
Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.
Therefore do not be unwise,
But understand what the will of the Lord is."

May your TODAYs be awesome ones and may they put a sweet smile on your face as you reflect them at the end of the days. = )


By His facilitator



    

  
  

My days in a different land.

13 hours flight, 40kg++ stuff and here I am in UK. How’s that feel? Well, I had a serious jet lag, I was terribly homesick, no familiar faces, no more char kuew teow and longtime favourite Teh C. Checked in to hostel, registered to university and reported myself to the course, went through the whole orientation programme, saw my final year coursemates. But NOTHING fills my empty heart. I wanna go back to Malaysia so badly. What fills it in then? Fear, loneliness, self-pity…finally, I broke into tears. I called home, I just cried. Will I be able to make it through? Why am I here? Why must I go through this? Why am I putting myself in all of these? As if I am in a really miserable situation right now. The moment I walk down the street, my heart just drop to the bottom. I don’t belong here. I am trying to stay positive, but the truth is - it’s just harder than I thought.

40kg++ stuff doesn’t help much either, 3 different brand of instant coffee and tea is the only Malaysian Food that I can bring, the rest?? Winter clothing, some toiletries, not more than 10 pieces of normal clothing, 2 hand bags, 1 pair of sandals, and sport shoe. Travel Light? IT IS HEAVY MY DEAR…

What was added on to the luggage was my own fear: I know it’ll be great, but how about the worst? I’ve put in a lot of “how about” into my luggage bag. I feel restless, I can’t sleep well, I asked my mum, “Am I normal? This is normal but painful process before everyone going through the next step?” I was clueless.

Friends were asking me, “How are you? Everything is fine with you?”

To be honest, my answer is kind of disappointed. I often said “Yes, I am good. I love the scenery.” Sorry my friends. The truth is, I am still in the process of culture shock-ing, adapting, crying, complaining, blaming here and there…It was an eye opening experiences, but everything was started in a painful way. Ouch~~ But yes, I do love the scenery very much and that’s the only answer I have at the moment.

“How am I going to cope with this?”

“Guide me, Lord”

And the I saw this,

‎"You Can Never Cross the Ocean Unless You Have the Courage to Lose Sight of the Shore" 

-by Christopher Columbus

Pierce right into my heart.

I am focusing on what is not supposed to be worried about. I forgot that God has better things for me in life. This happens to me all the time. I always forget that God will guide me through and I should never worry about tomorrow, I always encourage people around to stay positive but crying myself in the room, I always forget that I am a human with feelings too.

“Lord, please remind me each time that You are God in my life”

God never fail to do that. Whenever I was in trouble, He is there reminding me something important – He is God. It has to happen in a painful way so that I know; His way is always higher than my way. I should always look to Him, find peace in Him and rest in His Arms.

So happened to walk around and saw Band of Royal Marines playing “Amazing Grace”. I was amazed, it was like a surprised from a father to a child wanting something so badly. When I was busy looking at my own problem, He told me, “Exchange with Me, give Me your burden, and rest in Me.”

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

And then I saw something which amazed me even more,

See the rainbow??~

It always reminds me of the covenant God made with us. It gives me extra strength to move on.

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand."

- Isaiah 41:10

God is the only One who can see beyond what I can or cannot do, with Him to walk this journey with me, that's a blessing to me. God sees what is ahead of me and willing to guide me through the oceans when I have so much fear of losing the sight of the shore. What more can i say?

All glory to God.

Amen.

By,

Word n Music

diRtY IcE CubE, anyone?

Last year, I celebrated my birthday with my family in a restaurant back in my hometown.

While waiting for the dishes to be served,

my 2-year-old niece was playing with an ice cube.

She then accidentally dropped the ice cube on the floor (the floor is very dirty as many people had walked on it).

But she wanted to pick that ice cube up and play again.

Of course my sister had to stop her from doing that because it was so dirty.

But she cried and insisted that she wanted that piece of dirty ice cube.

My sis told her, “I'll give you a new one, wipe your hand first.”

She still kept crying because she hadn't seen the new one and hence she couldn't believe what my sister had said.

Then finally she stopped crying after my sister gave her a new and clean ice cube to play. = )

Our relationship with God is somehow like a parent and a child.

We can't see what is the best for us.

We always thought that the one we wanted is the only one available and it is the best.

We might say,

“God, I want XX/YY to be my boyfriend or girlfriend.

He or she is the best for me.

Why? Why You allowed him/her to be attached to someone else?? Why????”

Are you sure he/she is the best for you?

You may say ‘Yes’ when you are 15,

but how about 10 or 20 years down the road?

Can you still be sure about that?

Will you still be attracted by the guy or gal that is mere handsome or pretty;

that only can say “I love you” with words but not in action?

Will you still choose to be with the one that is ‘fun to be with’ but not providing or care for you and your children? = )

Or…

“God, surely You know that I needed this job.

You know that I have been unemployed for months.

I needed it badly and I thought it suited me.

The job description sounded interesting and most importantly, the pay is good.

But why??? Why You let the boss employ someone else instead of me????”   

You know what, God might give you something way better than you can ever imagine.

Someone close to me once applied to be an English teacher in a primary school,

but she received no news from the school.

She was in her 6-month pregnancy at that point of time.

She needed a job badly.

She asked me in despair, “Why didn’t God open the door? I really wish to get the job…”

I told her, “because He has something better for you. = )”

True enough, she got a job as a lecturer in a renowned university when she was in her 7-month pregnancy. (2 more months to her due date)

Isn’t HE amazing?! ; )

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Romans 8:32

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?

If He has given His Son for us, definitely He will never withhold something/someone that's best for us. = )

God always has something so much better for us, it's just that we haven't seen it and we find it really hard to believe that.

Just like my sister, He wouldn't give us the 'ice cube' if it's dirty,

He will surely give us a new and clean one. = )

It's on the way~~

Matthew 7:11

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!

I always feel very assured after reading these verses.

May you be blessed and encouraged by His Words and Promises, too. ; )

By His facilitator